Life in Johor pre-uni

4 months of break flew by so fast and now I'm in my room, hearing the swirling sound of a fan and hoping my internet will not get disconnected like it did 5 minutes ago.

I wanted to blog before I went but I did not feel like it because waves of nostalgia and insecurities about how I am going to survive medical school is very emotionally taxing.

I still can't believe I'm here, going to med school. It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but to a kid who got last place in primary school, I still can't grasp that I am indeed enrolled in a mildly prestigious med school. Why have you gotten yourselves into Ricky?

My parents and I went to visit a few shopping malls before they left and I can say without a doubt if they weren't here, I would not have half of the necessities that I didn't think that I needed. They have helped me immensely in setting up my room so it looks more like a room than a prison cell. Thanks mom and dad!

We went out to eat quite frequently and I think I've gained some weight (again *sigh*) so I better hit the gym soon because they will be a health check around the corner and to be honest, I am quite scared about that. Please Ricky, you got to at least exercise a bit everyday so you can actually fit into clothes that doesn't make you look like a walrus. -.-

I am quite nervous about meeting new people because it's out of my comfort zone and thinking about having to establish new relationships with my fellow classmates seems a bit daunting but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a least bit excited.

I missed my old friends a lot and sometimes I wonder how fun it could be if they were all here beside me and going through this together like we did in secondary school or canning college. I haven't been contacting them a lot recently because I just can't find the words to make the conversation less awkward. I really need to work on my social skills and need to have more courage because if I continue like this, I may lose someone I consider important in my life.

There is suppose to be a meet and greet tonight with the other first-years and I'm still wondering whether I should go or not. The time for that isn't that clear thought I now know where the venue is located within the building. I feel like taking a long nap until tomorrow morning and shut everyone out because to dwell on the start of a stressful uni life yet again.

Was this the right choice? Gosh I hope so. God, please use me as you see fit and drill it into my thick and stubborn brain that all I do is for you and not myself. I'm sorry I've not been close with you these few months and there is no excuse for that. I hope that this new beginning is what you think I need and not what I think I need.