I recalled the agent pointing out that I was a bit late for my application since she had two students and both of had their interviews already. I was intrigued about who they were and wondered we could maybe meet up so I would at least know someone before I got there. That's why I asked my dad a few days ago if he knew the other students since he was in contact with my education agent.
My dad called the agent today, unbeknownst to me and told me that none of the other students under the education agent were accepted besides me while I laid there watching tv mindlessly. The first reaction I had was 'What the crap?' because I honestly did not think it would be that competitive. After that came the dreadful feeling of inadequacy, in complete contrast to the feeling I got when I was accepted into vet school.
I was saying 'crap' multiple times to myself while wondering if I bit off more than I can chew. It's freaking medical school and I'm just me. The 'What the heck were you thinking' came into mind yet again and my self-confidence plummeted albeit it wasn't that high to start with. I felt like I fooled someone into believing that I could do it but inside I was rocking in a fetal position. What if I took the place of someone more deserving than me like what I did in vet school...
All the doubts came crashing in and within the span of 5 minutes, I was reduced the walking husk, intentionally blocking all thoughts and just focusing on the images flashing from the magical box we call tv.
Crap. Utter bugger.
No comments:
Post a Comment