First day of uni

Today is the first day of university and I felt a bit numb. I wasn't overly excited nor was I jumping for joy. It felt like something that I just had to do, it felt like a responsibility that I had to take rather than an adventure.

I've met a couple of nice people during our registration and maybe they could be counted as my new mates, we'll see. We just filled in a couple of forms, got our lab coat, locker key, access cards and student ID. After that there was a brief introduction to university life where they did a survey about all kinds of stuff like how many were male and how many were female. It was okay I guess, the speaker was quite funny so that's a good sign.

Then we went to lunch and I've met a couple of the people from BMS. There's only 12 of them and I kind of envy them because being such a small group, it is easier to interact and stay close knitted. They were really nice and fun to talked to especially since we had about 2 hours of break before the English proficiency test.

Uh, the English proficiency test was brutal. We had 40 minutes to write about whether or not we agree that the increasing quality of sanitation and health care was the reason for the increasing life expectancy. I have written for a long time so I was rusty and I did my best so there's nothing more I could do.

After that, we had nothing else on the agenda so we went back to our rooms. I suddenly felt homesick when I opened my wardrobe as I saw the neatly folded clothes and the tin of biscuit that my parents bought me in case I felt hungry. Tears flowed as I remembered the how fortunate I was back home where all my needs has been taken care off and the urge to go back home was really strong.

I have to ask myself, was this worth it? Was this worth everything that I've given up for? I still have no answer to that question. I guilty admit that during the day, I've thought about switching to dentistry purely for the reasons that I would get better pay and a more reasonable work hours.

The coursework is going to be brutal for medicine and I hope I can actually deal with it... Maybe I overestimated myself, fooling myself to think that I could do this...