Shattered dream

I can understand the pain piercing through one's heart when one realized their dream is just the beginning of a nightmare.

I was blessed to be given a chance to live my dream, or at least, what used to be my dream. I still remember getting that acceptance letter was one of the happiest and scariest moment of my life.

I got my golden ticket to live the dream, be what I want for once, be what I want to become, a vet.

I ignored the weird glances, the taunts, the closed minded verbal response when I told people what I going to study, what my dream was. They can sneer all they like but as long I still have my dream to live for, I was untouchable because I was on cloud nine.

Oh how far have I fallen from that point on, how many tears and sobs escaping heaving chest as I endured the year. My dream was fading, passion was dying and reality tackled onto me like a tonne of bricks. I was crushed beyond belief, devastated, disappointed and angry.

Why did I have to be one whose dream got shattered? Why can't I have a happy journey, haven't I been through enough? I never felt like I deserve better, that I deserved riches or fame, I just wanted to live my dream, be a change in the world.

Was I too naive? Didn't I think it thoroughly? Where did it all go wrong, dream shattering into pieces, all their is left are glistening tear drops on the pieces.

The frustration I caused others, the hurt they endured because of me made it worse. How can you comfort them, ensuring that you'll be fine that leaving this 'dream' was the right choice when all you want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. Let all the tears fall away and tiredness enveloping me into a restless sleep.

I don't have all the answers, I don't have all the guarantees, I'm just as confused and just as hurt.

I want to blame everyone, accuse them of disrupting my illusion. Why did you have to wake me up? I want to scream 'I hate you' from the top of my lungs to the world but in the end, the only one I could scream at was the pathetic being in the mirror, for not being strong enough, not smart enough, not dedicated enough, not wise enough.