Right choice?

It has been a while since I sat on the swing on my front porch, just gazing at the scenery and enjoying the melodic tune of the rain.

I'm not ready to leave. To leave my home. As I watched the benches, now drenched with rain, I thought about how I didn't grab more opportunity to sir on it before I leave. Why didn't I walk around the house and absorb the view of my parent's work of art- their bonsai.

I can see the red lantern that my dad hanged just in time for Chinese New Year. It gave me mixed emotions, I felt happy that I get to reunite with my friends and family for this happy festival but on the other hand, it reminded me that I'm going back to Perth soon.

After two years, Perth still didn't feel anything like home. Sure, it was no longer a foreign place but in a way, this made it worst. The excitement of exploring and discovering new adventures has dimmed down considerably after the first year and now it was only a place that I didn't feel I belonged too.

My brother on the other had an opposite view. I know he wants to have a job and stay in Perth, actually, that applied to any other western country though I think Perth would be his first choice if he found a job he liked.

I remember there was one time where a random uncle asked me if I would be coming back after studying. Before I could speak, my dad answered for me 'No, he won't.'

I knew that studying vet would get weird glances from most people. Questions like 'Why don't you just become a real doctor' or 'Really? Why (with a slight condescending look) are bound to thrown at me when I tell people but it never once occurred to me that my choice was going to affect my chances of living at home after I graduate.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. Scratch that, most of the time I ponder about that. The fiery passion that has blinded my eyes seemed to cleared up as the I felt the tackle of reality. My choice didn't just effected me but my whole family.
Should I have just studied engineering like my dad wanted. Blah.. I wouldn't be happy doing that. Maybe I should have just took a vet course in UPM. It wouldn't have cost THAT MUCH and I could have found a job in Miri and settle down. Have a nice and simple life.

Once I told my friend that I dreaded going back to Perth because there was nothing there for me to look forward too. I said that half just to spite her cause we grew apart but after I typed it out, I kinda felt like it was true.

Waiting for me back in Perth was assignments, eating bread for lunch, pressure of not failing and the absence of the comfort my family provided me. Sure I have friends but they are all in other universities and truthfully, I think they have problems to sort out than to listen to my whining. My brother is there but he too has his own stuff to work out and we don't have a typical brotherly relationship. Church was good and I felt like I've grown a lot spiritually while in Perth but I'm in the committee next year and I'm not sure if I'm up for it yet.

If I went back in time knowing what I know now, would I have chosen this path to travel?