"I'm so happy to see all of you. All of you deserved to be here."
Pang. As soon as I heard those words, my heart felt something. I needed that. That boost of confidence. That word of acknowledgement . Most importantly, I just wanted acceptance...from myself.
I often wonder if I was given a cheat code in life. A shooting star that actually made your dream come true. I'd close my eyes and wished with my heart screaming out 'I want to become a vet!" God heard me and he gave me my wish.
I feel like I was given an expensive car but I didn't know how to drive that well. Going into vet was the car and I'm not sure if I can handle it.
When they gave us the talk, I felt so stressed and just out of place. Did they really expect so much out of me, a simple kid from a small town of Miri to be competent enough to satisfy their demands?
But as soon as I walked in the vet clinic, something in my head clicked. No, it wasn't the sense of belonging, it was something stronger than that. I felt like I could do it, somehow seeing the future ahead of me, I believed that I could achieve it. I was sure going to work my butt off the get there, treacherous journey I know but knowing the view, how could I not give it a chance?
However as soon as the dedication came, it went away like the tide being sucked in just before a Tsunami. It was gone.
I look at all the brilliant people surrounding me and something whispered in my mind, "Do you really think you belong here?"
I walked away with everyone after it ended but I still don't know if we are going in the same direction.
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