Go back

My fifth week of university just ended and I'm here, leg tucked under my chin, looking out ot the gloomy skies, hearing the roar of the thunder.

I feel like the weather now is a representation of what's going in my heart right now. Chaos, loud and gloomy.

The lectures are piling up along with the assignments. The workload is suffocating sometimes but I guess that's expected since med school is suppose to be hard. Sometimes, I just want to bury my head into the pillow and cry, as loud as I can, no judgement and no constraint. Just let it all out.

I don't like my life now. I feel like a spoilt brat for having this feeling because aren't I suppose to be living my dream? I just want to go back home, lie on my own bed, smell the fragrance of home and surrounded by my parents. When I was in Perth it was still fine because my brother and good friends were there, it felt like my second home.

It is different here than in Perth. Perth was a concrete jungle awaiting me to explore. Here, it is just a room with grilled windows and sucky internet.

I don't like it here, not at all. God, can I return back in time. Let me choose once more. I'm not sure how much I can stand it here before I waste away, leaving nothing but a shadow of a person with a broken heart.

Let me go back...or at least have a hope of escaping these 4 walls that I was sealed inside. I want to be grateful and let praise for you always be in my mouth but I can't right now. I'm sorry.