Rainy season

Today is the last day of 2013 which also means rainy season has begun and by the sound of the rain droplets pelting the window, the rainy season kicked off with a bang.

I've been back home for more than 2 weeks and I dread going back to Johor, I really do. I still doubt my decision of going into med school willingly, I mean what the heck were you thinking Ricky...

I'll be having my second major exam next Thursday and Friday and I haven't even started revision yet. I'm so screwed. I just don't have the motivation to start studying and I just want to relax before going back to the torturous and mundane schedule of going to lectures and coming back to do revision (ha! Like I ever do revision -.-). Life have to be more than this right?

Sometimes I blame God for letting me get into med school because if I didn't, I'll probably be doing bachelor of science and I could have explored my interest using that degree instead of pigeon-holing myself into the medical profession.

But I'm here to stay. My parents have been gracious enough to let me change once, if I do it the second time, I might as well hand them the knife they are going to butcher me with. To be honest, if I were of a well off family, I would have pull out of med school long ago and go into a science degree with an undeclared major so I can pursue my interest.

My naive hope of becoming a doctor to help alleviate pain seems to be further away from me as the days go by. I feel like I'm at the crossroad again but this time, I only have one choice, to go on.

I guess it's rainy season in my heart as well.