Victim

It's raining outside and the sound comforting.

Safely cocooned in my bed with thoughts I can no longer ignore.

It still hurts and the fear paralyzing. All I can do is escape so I won't have to deal with the thoughts. But it's not working anymore. I feel so much yet I am numb, a frustrating paradox.

Screw-up
Unlovable
Burden

I wonder when will it all end. when will I finish playing the role of the victim with the weapon on my hands and start my life again.