I can't start writing that freaking personal statement. Everytime I want to start it, there's a barrier and my motivations just withers like leaves in autumn. How can I convince someone else to give me a chance when I can't even convince myself to do so.

I can't do it and I'm willing to do pretty much anything else as long as they are not beneficial to avoid this.

What is my life right now? A whinny and ungrateful young adult who has pulled out of two universities. That's the freaking page that I have been stuck on for 3 months and there seems to be no way out.

I keep doubting myself and wishing that this was all a dream, and all will be well once I wake up from my deep slumber. Great, add delusional to the growing list of what's wrong with me.

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts... I am awesome. I can slay that personal statement. I am a self-aware young man. I have hope. I still have a chance.