I was at my neighbour's house during the Raya when I noticed two children who just met playing harmoniously together. They didn't utter any words but when one walked up to the other, with a wave of his tiny hands, she was his friend. It was that easy.
This cute scene motivated me to walk down memory lane and think of the friends that I made when I was just a kid with proportionally large ears.
In kindergarten, I remember sitting beside a boy with immaculately gelled hair. I forgot what his name was but I knew it started with a B (Benedict, Brendan?). I don't remember much about interacting with anyone else except him so I think he was my closest friend there.
Then came primary school and my memory capacity increased (well I like to think it did) so I remembered quite a lot about the friends that I made.
When I was in Year 1-Year 3, I was best friends with a boy named Michael and a girl named Adeline. We weren't the three musketeers. They hung out with different groups (the boys and girls were very segregated back then, mostly hung out with the same sexes) and I fleeted between their groups. I remember Michael and I would play in the classroom during recesses whereas Adeline and I were co-class monitors so we interacted quite frequently and got on superbly. However, I can't for the life of me remember any distinct memories, just snippets of us hanging together.
Outside the classroom, my closest friend was Victor. Both of our moms were good friends and our houses were close to each other so play dates were often. He had a better game console so more often than not, we were at his house. I remember more about our time together because we talked for hours on end. Sometimes my mom would even send me to his parent's workplace (a garage of some sort)so that we could play together. I considered him my best friend and I thought I was his.
Then came that one fateful night that changed me. I know it sounds very dramatic but it's true. That night changed about my perception of what the word 'friend' meant and the distinction between 'friends' and 'acquaintance'.
It was his birthday party and he had a party at his house. I was so excited because play time with my best friends combined with cake and chicken wings, what boy wouldn't? I think he started playing badminton a while before this and he had a badminton practice that day so he was late (or I was early, I'm not really that sure).
I waited eagerly for his arrival so we could go play on his game console and munch on unhealthy fried foods. I remember I saw him approaching his house (I was on the sofa and the front door was open)and some of his badminton buddies was with him. The next part was a bit fuzzy but I remembered that he didn't stop to talk to me and just went into the room with the game console.
My mom urged me to go inside and join them but I was a bit apprehensive because I didn't know anyone else except Victor. But then I thought about it. I was his best friend so it would be fine right? So I fidget my way into the room and found most of them engrossed in the game even though only two could play at a time. My unexpected entrance earned a few brief glances and nothing else. No introductions or other acknowledgement of my existence. I just sat on the side and watched them play, feeling a funny feeling in my gut. I didn't like that feeling. Needless to say, I went out of the room after a few minutes.
I went outside and sat with my parents, thinking to myself 'What just happened?'. I think that was the first moment that remembered of ever feeling like I was growing up, like someone shove me onto a step towards the cold hard truth of real life.
That night handed me a revelation that friends don't last forever and friendships need mutual efforts to stay afloat.
Then after that...
No comments:
Post a Comment