Today was not a good day.
It started off fine in the morning which was expected because I had no assignments or assessments waiting for me to finish. I had my breakfast and watched some tv and this was how time went by a normal Saturday morning.
Then it all came spiraling down just before lunch. I won't divulge what exactly happened but in short, my dad and I had a heated argument over lunch. He can be so stubborn and hot headed sometimes that I just want to scream on the top of my lungs before exiting dramatically. You know what the worst part is, I'm like him in that perspective.
I can be annoyingly stubborn that I enrage myself sometimes because that is exactly what I didn't want to pick up from dad. Don't even let me started when I get angry. When that happens I spew out venom fast and you bet it stings. When I am angry, my brain automatically sources all the information on the person that made me piss and I strike hard. It worsens if the person fights back and if not, my furry multiples. It is a scary sight even for me.
He did something that enraged me and I said something that enraged him. It ended with me giving him the cold shoulder and slamming the door for a dramatic effect.
It gets worse. Today is Father's day in Miri or so I was told by my mom. I got in an argument with my dad on Father's day and neither of us can be the bigger man and apologize. I know, fun right?
We went out for a slightly upscale dinner at a fancy restaurant eating western food which happened to be my favorite. But being the stubborn mule that I am I feign disinterest and scan the menu like it was nothing but a day old newspaper.
During dinner time my mom updated us on one of my cousin's life. He went to Taiwan recently to explore any job opportunities and before he went, he gave his parents each an angpao with RM 500 and wrote notes for them. He didn't take any of his parents money for this trip and the ones that gave him money, he gave them back the money, just keeping the angpao as a sentiment. My parents all commented on how mature he was and here I was, the angry teenager trying to understand how to use a fork and knife simultaneously while giving his dad a cold shoulder on Father's day.
Needless to say, my appetite was ruin and I held my head a little lower. In between my cousin who is a doctor, one who is a genius studying in Oxford and the one that I mentioned, I feel like the title of a Grade A douche bag son is close upon me.
*Sigh*
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Decision
Like a shadow of my former self,
I roam around the earth.
Stacked up all that I had on a shelf,
With nothing left that is of worth.
I whispered no lies or tales,
Pretending became a way of life.
Couldn't care less about life's details,
Just wanted to forget the strife.
Sometimes life moves by too fast,
No time to think and reflect.
Or was I the last,
To know what was incorrect?
I understand now how despair could eat,
Bit by bit until it becomes you.
Raising up the white flag and accepting defeat,
Instead of fighting on like which you once knew.
Nothing that anyone says is of use,
To put you back among the stars.
They can listen to your blues,
But only you can decide how to deal with the scars.
I roam around the earth.
Stacked up all that I had on a shelf,
With nothing left that is of worth.
I whispered no lies or tales,
Pretending became a way of life.
Couldn't care less about life's details,
Just wanted to forget the strife.
Sometimes life moves by too fast,
No time to think and reflect.
Or was I the last,
To know what was incorrect?
I understand now how despair could eat,
Bit by bit until it becomes you.
Raising up the white flag and accepting defeat,
Instead of fighting on like which you once knew.
Nothing that anyone says is of use,
To put you back among the stars.
They can listen to your blues,
But only you can decide how to deal with the scars.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Grandmum
Ah, grandmum. How can I describe my grandmum? Well, you can say that my dad is her son, meaning that she and my dad has a lot of similar mannerisms that they are not even aware of.
My grandmum has this fear that I will be dehydrated, ALL THE TIME. Every time I go to her house, she'll bring me one glass of tea follow up by another one per hour. Oh, she'll ask but your answer doesn't really matter. It goes like this
Grandmum: Ricky, do you want to drink tea? (Rushing to the kitchen to get the darn tea pot)
Me:No, grandma! No! (Looking at her direction with a pleading look)
-After a few more times=
Grandmum: Ricky, you haven't drink water in a long time. Let me get you some water.
Me: (Roll my eyes and mumble whatever)
She based the fact that I am always dehydrated on my the color of my lips that is always red. I don't even know if that's a legit indicator but I am leaning towards no because my lips are always this red unless I'm sick. She always brings this up when I tell her I don't want any water and one time I got so frustrated that I told her I was wearing lipstick. Sure enough, another mug of tea appears in front of me and my smart remark was ignored.
Moreover, she thinks that my appetite is humongous. And that's coming from me. I have a bigger appetite than most people and she still thinks that I eat too little. I'm like, am I a sasquatch in your eyes? I know she means well but it's ridiculous when she demands (slight exaggeration, slight being the key word here) me to eat a whole plate of food which is clearly enough for two or three people. I know she means well but sometimes I just want to pluck my hair out and shout 'ARE YOU MY STOMACH?'
Here's a typical conversation on the dinner table when I feel full
Me: I'm full now, I can eat anymore.
Grandmum: What do you by you are full? You have barely eaten (Serious face)
Me: I ate a lot! (Giving her a incredulous look)
Grandmum: Just eat it slowly and you'll finish it.
Me: (Turn to dad) I'm full. (Rush to the living room)
EVERY TIME. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. LIKE SERIOUSLY. I THINK I CAN RECORD MY REPLY AND PLAY IT. HEY, I SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT.
My dad is the same but on a different issue. He bugs me about peeing. STILL BEING SERIOUS HERE.
I'll give you an example
Dad: (Coming out of the toilet) Have you peed?
Me: No.
Dad: Go pee.
Me: What?
Dad: Go pee.
Me: Why?
Dad: Why aren't you peeing?
Me: Because I don't want to pee. You are not my bladder!
See, this is my life. I wonder if I have kids would I treat them the same. I think I would just to get back at them from all the late night feedings when they were an infant. HAHA. I would totally be a fun dad XD
My grandmum has this fear that I will be dehydrated, ALL THE TIME. Every time I go to her house, she'll bring me one glass of tea follow up by another one per hour. Oh, she'll ask but your answer doesn't really matter. It goes like this
Grandmum: Ricky, do you want to drink tea? (Rushing to the kitchen to get the darn tea pot)
Me:No, grandma! No! (Looking at her direction with a pleading look)
-After a few more times=
Grandmum: Ricky, you haven't drink water in a long time. Let me get you some water.
Me: (Roll my eyes and mumble whatever)
She based the fact that I am always dehydrated on my the color of my lips that is always red. I don't even know if that's a legit indicator but I am leaning towards no because my lips are always this red unless I'm sick. She always brings this up when I tell her I don't want any water and one time I got so frustrated that I told her I was wearing lipstick. Sure enough, another mug of tea appears in front of me and my smart remark was ignored.
Moreover, she thinks that my appetite is humongous. And that's coming from me. I have a bigger appetite than most people and she still thinks that I eat too little. I'm like, am I a sasquatch in your eyes? I know she means well but it's ridiculous when she demands (slight exaggeration, slight being the key word here) me to eat a whole plate of food which is clearly enough for two or three people. I know she means well but sometimes I just want to pluck my hair out and shout 'ARE YOU MY STOMACH?'
Here's a typical conversation on the dinner table when I feel full
Me: I'm full now, I can eat anymore.
Grandmum: What do you by you are full? You have barely eaten (Serious face)
Me: I ate a lot! (Giving her a incredulous look)
Grandmum: Just eat it slowly and you'll finish it.
Me: (Turn to dad) I'm full. (Rush to the living room)
EVERY TIME. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. LIKE SERIOUSLY. I THINK I CAN RECORD MY REPLY AND PLAY IT. HEY, I SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT.
My dad is the same but on a different issue. He bugs me about peeing. STILL BEING SERIOUS HERE.
I'll give you an example
Dad: (Coming out of the toilet) Have you peed?
Me: No.
Dad: Go pee.
Me: What?
Dad: Go pee.
Me: Why?
Dad: Why aren't you peeing?
Me: Because I don't want to pee. You are not my bladder!
See, this is my life. I wonder if I have kids would I treat them the same. I think I would just to get back at them from all the late night feedings when they were an infant. HAHA. I would totally be a fun dad XD
Monday, June 3, 2013
Weddings
The urge of inflicting physical harm on another person was intense when my dad woke me up in the middle of my nap. We had just endured a 5 hours drive from Sibu to Miri in which my head had lumps upon lumps like a cactus after countless of bumping. I tried to plop back to bed but my dad told me if I wanted to shower than I better get my grumpy self up or look like a witch from Snow White as I had to attend yet another wedding banquet.
My mom's ex-colleague's son was getting married (do I get points for remembering that?) and my dad adamantly refused to go so I being the loving son that I was agreed to go with her albeit begrudgingly (my loving nature has its limits and after that 'fun' 6 hours drive, my limits was reached beyond comprehension).
I showered and dressed up nicely and snapped at my innocent dad who chuckled at my attempt on guilt tripping him. He was impervious to my snarky attitude and I would be too if it meant I didn't had to go to that wedding. I mean I didn't even know the person and my head ached. I was just going to sit there and drink up my years worth of Chinese tea while eyeing the prawn that my mom would never let me have and listening to the adults talking about things I don't understand or care really.
After guilt tripping my dad for the last time, my mom and I departed to the wedding early just so that we can find a reasonably close parking space. Great, for that parking space I have to endure an additional half and hour of eating peanuts and thinking of sneaky ways to eat the peanuts when my mom told me I had enough.
My mom met her friends when we were escorted into the venue and long story short, only our tables weren't set up yet so we had to find someone to relay that information and waited patiently (well at least she did, I was fuming inside, at least have the decency to let me suffer sitting down, come on, where is your common courtesy).
Surprise, surprise, the seat of an ex-colleague was the farthest away from the stage and if someone took a picture of it it might as well has this caption 'You should be lucky that we are even inviting you, so sit down and enjoy the food while you criticize the wedding like we know you would. P.S. Screw you. Okay, I wasn't in the most pleasant of mood when I thought about that but it was true. We sat just next to both of the speakers and basically when the "singers" sing their heart outs, our hearts consequently goes out as well.
Thank goodness for mobile phones because it kept me occupied and my countenance more nonchalant than bemused. My mom didn't mind because if she knew I could throw a hissy fit like no other (hey I learned it from the master herself). The food was okay and I couldn't really complain because everyone did that job already so I just sat there and looked pretty like the wedding cake on stage that wasn't going to get eaten.
I actually thought about some deep stuff while I was there, trying to not wince at the music blaring from the two speakers hanging over at the corner and vowing to ban karaoke in my wedding but I'll write that another time.
When there were only 2-3 dishes left, I cuddled up to my mom and asked her whether we could leave now using the sweetest voice I could muster up while my tummy was fighting with all the chinese tea that I drank. She obliged and we went home. I couldn't have been happier and the night ended with me tucked in bed and thankfully that next time, dad will be going instead of me as we reached an agreement. If not, then there will be a show, not a pretty one at that.
My mom's ex-colleague's son was getting married (do I get points for remembering that?) and my dad adamantly refused to go so I being the loving son that I was agreed to go with her albeit begrudgingly (my loving nature has its limits and after that 'fun' 6 hours drive, my limits was reached beyond comprehension).
I showered and dressed up nicely and snapped at my innocent dad who chuckled at my attempt on guilt tripping him. He was impervious to my snarky attitude and I would be too if it meant I didn't had to go to that wedding. I mean I didn't even know the person and my head ached. I was just going to sit there and drink up my years worth of Chinese tea while eyeing the prawn that my mom would never let me have and listening to the adults talking about things I don't understand or care really.
After guilt tripping my dad for the last time, my mom and I departed to the wedding early just so that we can find a reasonably close parking space. Great, for that parking space I have to endure an additional half and hour of eating peanuts and thinking of sneaky ways to eat the peanuts when my mom told me I had enough.
My mom met her friends when we were escorted into the venue and long story short, only our tables weren't set up yet so we had to find someone to relay that information and waited patiently (well at least she did, I was fuming inside, at least have the decency to let me suffer sitting down, come on, where is your common courtesy).
Surprise, surprise, the seat of an ex-colleague was the farthest away from the stage and if someone took a picture of it it might as well has this caption 'You should be lucky that we are even inviting you, so sit down and enjoy the food while you criticize the wedding like we know you would. P.S. Screw you. Okay, I wasn't in the most pleasant of mood when I thought about that but it was true. We sat just next to both of the speakers and basically when the "singers" sing their heart outs, our hearts consequently goes out as well.
Thank goodness for mobile phones because it kept me occupied and my countenance more nonchalant than bemused. My mom didn't mind because if she knew I could throw a hissy fit like no other (hey I learned it from the master herself). The food was okay and I couldn't really complain because everyone did that job already so I just sat there and looked pretty like the wedding cake on stage that wasn't going to get eaten.
I actually thought about some deep stuff while I was there, trying to not wince at the music blaring from the two speakers hanging over at the corner and vowing to ban karaoke in my wedding but I'll write that another time.
When there were only 2-3 dishes left, I cuddled up to my mom and asked her whether we could leave now using the sweetest voice I could muster up while my tummy was fighting with all the chinese tea that I drank. She obliged and we went home. I couldn't have been happier and the night ended with me tucked in bed and thankfully that next time, dad will be going instead of me as we reached an agreement. If not, then there will be a show, not a pretty one at that.
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