Place

Do you remember this place,
The magic it possess,
The wondrous journey you had,
Where you let your imagination run wild.

When did the field seem so serene,
Wasn't it a jungle full of adventures,
Dawning a short blue pants and a mischievous smile,
You were the top explorer of the world.

Standing on the pile of rock,
Feeling like the bravest warrior,
Your strength could beat a thousand lions,
Your roar could stunt even the bravest soul.

All the afternoon spent here,
Watching the cloud float by,
Can you still remember the afternoon breeze,
That warmed your heart like chicken soup.

The crack of the wall recorded your growth,
From a toddler to a teenager,
It was your safe haven,
A place that you could be anyone you desire.

Since when

Since when did you stop watching cartoons,
All the Saturday mornings from 9 to 11,
Laughing at the hi-jinx and screw-ups,
That you found oh so comical and amusing.

Since when did you retreated into your shell,
No longer the life of the party,
Silent and stoic as a statue,
Putting on an act that everybody could see through,

Since when did you start reading newspapers,
Have you forgotten the promise you made,
Watching the adults wasting their time,
Just leafing through papers instead of talking.

Since when did you cast that shadow on yourself,
Questioning and doubting yourself on life's journey,
Thinking the glass is always half empty,
Lowering your head when you are suppose to stand up.

Since when did you reflect so much on yourself,
Was it really the years adding maturity,
Or has your naivete gone with the wind along the years,
Would you rather stay as kid forever?

Not looking forward to

I don't know when I developed this fear of going back to university after the holidays.

Was it during the second week into uni when I questioned myself whether I was suited to the life of a university students? Was it when I almost cried of every single lab where I felt like a deer in headlights, stunned by how everyone knew what to do and how I knew nothing?

I've never kept my disdain of university life a secret. I'm a very vocal person that way. I think in my group, I was the one who complained about uni the most. Sometimes, I'm even sick of myself complaining.

But the truth is, I'm not the only one going through this. Most of my friends are and I think they've been in the same position as I am. So at least there is some comraderie present right?

I have to make new friends this year and this scares me quite a lot. I won't see most of my close friends from last year anymore so I have to step out from that bubble once again to befriend people. Sometimes I wish I inherited my mother's skill as a social butterfly. Talking without having an invisible awkward meter at the side. Wouldn't that be fun.

Sigh, let's enjoy this holiday while it last. I had an awesome holiday though so at least that provide some comfort to me when I go back to uni life to know I rocked the holidays.

Last

With all the smiles,
With all the laughter,
We shared each day,
Like there were none other.

Between your silent smile,
His crazy ideas,
And my sarcastic remarks,
A modern teen musketeers we were.

I knew it wouldn't last,
My naivete shattered in the past,
But there always was a 'if',
As long as we had the will.

When did your silent feel so cold,
Gust of awkwardness charging in,
Was I to blame for this storm,
Or was this life's natural path.

Your one word reply,
Your cold stare,
Have you given up your will,
Has this reach to a point of no return?

One way street

Gosh! Seriously? A one word answer? I am trying to start a conversation to save our delicate friendship and all you do is message me back a one word answer after days of seeing my message and not replying it.

What do you want me to do? It was you who once said that our friendship was precious but now I guess it is as "precious" as the garbage bag outside your house.

I know I'm not the best friend but at least I'm trying. I'm not angry, I'm sad.

I've been reminded of my past failed attempt to hold on to friendships but I thought you would be different. Then again, you never were the talkative type and me being slightly socially awkward, worst combination ever.

But we never stooped this low. What happened? Was it me? Did I bore you? Or did our lives grew too further apart to be intertwine.

It seems like our friendship is heading down a one way street to .... You decide. Your move now.

First Internship (kinda)

I had my first internship in a vet clinic in Miri. Who would have guessed that? Certainly not me.

I interned for 4 days per week and around 5-6 hours a day with the exception of Saturday when I only work in morning.

I was shocked, nervous and excited when my mom told me that she was successful in finding an internship for me in Miri. Truthfully, I was a bit reluctant because after a semester of grueling studying, I was more than ready for some R and R. Having an internship would mean I can't lay around the house and be a sloth as much as I would want. In the end, I decided to accept the internship which wasn't a hard decision as you can see the pros greatly outnumber the cons. So away I go to my journey as an intern.

First day was quite awkward. I didn't know what exactly I was suppose to do. Sharon, the vet, told me to observe how Ani runs the boarding kennels in the morning, her daily routine. I just stood there awkwardly (such a people person) trying not to be in her way as she carried on her duties. She washes the cages, feed and gave those that needed medication the medicine. That's about it, I didn't know what to observe besides this. I went outside and then became a silent observer.

Throughout the internship, I observed the consultations and even some operations. It was quite cool and I've learned quite a lot. However, I was just a first year, my knowledge regarding the field was as shallow as kiddy pool. There was lots of things that I didn't understand, mostly the anatomy and medicine part. Sometimes I asked but sometimes I just kept quite. They gave me some books to read when I asked them some questions about surgery but the only thing I understood was the pictures...

After a month, I felt like I've learned what I should and could learned from my first internship and I told them I wanted time to rest before I went back to university.

It was fun, especially the surgery which I was marveled at how with swift movements of hands and tools, animals can be healed. But then again, I was exposed to the dilemmas of being a vet which never made any decision easy.

This was my first internship and hopefully, one of the many to come. :D